


Starry Eyed Boy

by GayMarauders



Series: Experimental Multimedia Fics [2]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Internet, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Child Abuse, Everyone Is Gay, F/F, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Interactive Fiction, Long-Distance Friendship, Long-Distance Relationship, M/M, Miscommunication, Rated T for language, Trans Male Character, Triggers listed in each chapter, fic integrates tumblr youtube and ao3, or Bi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-15
Updated: 2016-08-14
Packaged: 2018-07-23 16:23:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 11,205
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7470762
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GayMarauders/pseuds/GayMarauders
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Remus decides to waste his day off scrolling down tumblr, he doesn't expect anything remotely exciting to happen. But then he sees Sirius, a popular aesthetic blogger and his friend James's best friend, and suddenly he's spending his days desperately trying to forget about the incredibly handsome, unattainable, very far away boy on his dash. Thankfully, he's got his own secret admirer to help take his mind off things...</p><p>You can watch the action unfold in real time by going to starryeyedboyfic.tumblr.com and checking out the Marauders and their friends on Tumblr and YouTube! Feel free to interact with the characters through asks and comments.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Thirst Follow

Remus is having a surprisingly mediocre day.

He had been looking forward to a day off of work--not that he doesn’t love working with kids, but it gets exhausting sometimes. Now that he’s holed up in his room, though, there doesn’t seem to be much to do...which is how he finds himself three hours into scrolling down Tumblr at seven o’clock on a Friday night.

_ I can’t believe I didn’t make any plans for my first day off in two weeks...I could be out with Lily or Pete right now and instead I’ve made a blanket nest and taken to the internet like I’m an emo fourteen year old again.  _ The mindless scrolling continues, however, and he occasionally huffs air through his nose at a particularly amusing post (generally from James’ blog). His eyes are just starting to feel heavy with drowsiness and he’s considering making some dinner and heading to bed early when he accidentally clicks on James’ URL, a preview of his blog popping up and revealing the latest post he reblogged.

_ Holy fuck! _

Remus’s eyes fly open as he stares at the image on his screen. There, staring into his soul with a sultry look is the single most attractive human being he’s ever seen. Their hair is long and dark and just this side of wild. It falls forward artfully, partially obscuring a soft yet mischievous face. Remus sits in stunned silence for a moment, staring, as he tries to process the image in front of him.

As his senses return to him, Remus’ glance flicks across the screen, taking in the original poster’s URL and James’ rather exuberant tags. Clearly this person is in the middle of an intense flirtation with Remus's best friend; even so, it couldn't hurt to give his blog a look, or even a follow...who could blame him for wanting a few more photos of this mysterious person on his dash, after all?

_ Are you seriously thirst following someone?  _  The judgmental voice in Remus' head is unamused, but Remus ignores it as he clicks through to the original post and begins scrolling through, pleased to find that selfies seem to be a daily habit of the blogger. He makes a point of not clicking on the obvious selfie tag, though, opting for the slightly less creepy route and going directly for the mysterious person’s About page.

A problem arises moments later when Remus discovers that the only personal information provided about his quarry is the rather cryptic “sirius, 17, scorpio, he/him.” This is apparently supposed to tell him everything he needs to know about the boy, and Remus finds himself cursing minimalistic aesthetic bloggers. Reading the blog title, he snorts quietly.

“Thank god you’re handsome, indeed.” He’s only just seen this Sirius, after all; he can’t exactly waltz into his ask box demanding personal information moments after discovering his existence. Instead, he quietly clicks  _ follow  _ and returns to his dash. What would he have done with more information, anyway? It’s not exactly in his nature to chat up every attractive man he sees on the internet, especially not ones James is interested in. Sighing, he begins scrolling once again. The sun finds him fast asleep the next morning, lying crosswise across his bed with his computer still on his lap.

* * *

 

_ 9:08 am, Lilypad: _

Rem where are you?

_ 9:17 am, Lilypad: _

Remus?????

_ 9:23 am, Lilypad: _

Are you ok

_ 9:34 am, Lilypad: _

Ok that’s it I’m coming over, you’d better not be dead

Remus blinks the sleep from his eyes as he reads the series of texts his friend had sent him during his unplanned extra hour of sleep. Groaning, he launches himself off the bed with an uncoordinated movement and finds his foot planted solidly on something suspiciously warm and fuzzy.

“Fuck! Sorry Minnie oh my god…” His cat makes her consternation known as he hops off her tail, her eyes wide with indignation. As her sharp mewls drill into his brain, he grabs the nearest can of catfood, opens it, and sets it down quickly before she can bite the hand that’s feeding her. 

A loud banging sound reverberates through the house at that moment, and Remus casts about frantically for a pair of pants before admitting defeat and rushing downstairs in his boxers. If those texts are any indication, he’s about to be confronted with five feet and five inches of angry redhead, and he doubts his skinny jeans will offer much protection anyway.

“I’m coming!” The final syllable is little more than a squeak as his voice chooses this prime opportunity to crack, and a part of Remus is begging him to declare today a bust and go back to bed. The part of him that is already a forty year old professor with a mortgage and five sweaters with elbow patches wins this particular argument, however, and he decides to face the consequences of his late night tumblr binge head-on. Sighing, he unlocks the door and pulls it open to reveal the terrifyingly put-together visage of his best friend, one Lily Evans.

“Hello.” The inflection is so pointed that she may as well have taken a pocket knife out of her purse; Remus gives his friend a sheepish half-smile and stands aside so she can enter the house.

“I’m sorry, I stayed up kinda late last night and I guess I forgot to turn my alarm on…” Lily is decidedly unimpressed.

“We were supposed to be planning the group activities for today at  _ nine o’clock. _ ”

“I know, I’m sorry! I got distracted by this blogger and I lost track of the time…”

“You’re blushing.” Lily’s demeanor changes suddenly, her eyebrow rising a fraction of an inch. “Does this blogger have a name, by chance?”

“Sirius. Like the star. In the Canis Major constellation, it’s the one that looks like a big dog.”

“And I take it he doesn’t look like a big dog?” Remus chokes a little at that, and now he can feel the blush Lily referenced earlier.

“Am I that obvious?”

Lily charitably ignores his question, instead walking into his kitchen and opening the freezer.

“Thankfully, I already had a plan for the group activity, so you’re safe from my wrath today...How many toaster waffles do you own, by the way?” She selects two of the wholegrain variety and pops them into the toaster as Remus watches groggily.

“Enough. And you should’ve grabbed the cinnamon ones, they’re the best.” He slumps into a chair and sets his phone--which he has no memory of bringing downstairs with him--on the table. “Also, I’ll have you know, Sirius happens to have a very high quality aesthetic blog, I was distracted by the posts--”

“Ok, let’s see his selfies.” Lily plops down in the chair next to Remus and grabs his phone, unlocking it deftly and opening the tumblr app. “What’s his url?”

“Starry-sirius,” Remus replies defeatedly. “And I swear I was only like...half-thirst following. His blog really is great.”

“I’m sure.” Lily finds it quickly and scrolls to the post that captured Remus’ imagination only a few hours ago. “Oh my god…”

“What?”

“Long hair, leather jacket...I never thought you’d go for a  _ bad boy.”  _ She can barely gets the words out without laughing, and Remus huffs indignantly.

“I’m not--he’s not--I’m gay, ok, it’s not my fault!” Remus leans over then, pressing his face into his arms. Lily pats his back comfortingly.

“Did you at least reblog the selfies?”

“God no, I don’t even know him! Can we drop this, please? There must be better things to talk about...like how we were supposed to pick up Peter at 9:30!” They stare at each other in dismay for a moment before jumping into action. Lily runs to the toaster, removing the waffles prematurely  and wrapping them in a napkin. Remus, meanwhile, practically flies up the stairs, grabbing the first pair of pants he finds on his bedroom floor and hopping back down the stairs as he pulls them on. 

Once they’re seated in Lily’s car, she hands Remus his phone.

“Reblog while we drive, or no waffle.”

“I don’t even know him, and I’m pretty sure James is into him, though.”

“So? He’s cute, you’re cute, I told you to do it…”

“But--”

“You heard me! My car, my rules. And this guy is definitely the kind of person who notices the tags on his selfies, so be gay.”

“Fine. But I will be  _ appropriately gay for the situation,”  _ Remus assents. “Gotta make it look like I didn’t scroll through fifteen pages of his blog last night.”

“Of course,” Lily mumbles around the waffle she is currently attempting to eat with both hands on the wheel.

“Ok how about this: ‘whoever you are your hair is gorgeous.’”

“Hmm...not exactly poetry, but definitely waffle-worthy,” Lily says thoughtfully.

“Alright it’s done! Did you text Peter that we’re coming now?”

“...Fuck.”


	2. PM

_Brighton - Friday, 6:24pm_

“Delphinia Black, I will not be spoken to in this way. Your behaviour is completely inappropriate for a young woman of your upbringing, I raised you better than this…”

_You raised me exactly like this, Mother._ Walburga Black’s voice becomes an irritating but indistinct roar in the background as her eldest son stares disinterestedly into space, breathing in slowly and trying not to let the anger simmering below the surface of his mind come to the forefront. It’s a battle he rarely wins, but today he’s desperate to escape with as little screaming as possible; his muscles are sore and he’s still in his muddy football penny, and every fibre of his being is screaming for him to fill a tub with bubbles and become one with the foam.

“...am I clear?” Sirius tunes back in for the end of his mother’s rant. Nodding stiffly he takes a step toward the staircase.

“Crystal. Now I’m going to go take a bath, if you don’t mind.”

“Watch your tone, young lady.”

It takes all of his willpower not to flinch at that last phrase. Sirius scrambles up the stairs, cleats leaving dirty imprints on the rug, and slams the bathroom door behind him. Leaning against the counter, he presses his forehead to the cool mirror and stands there for a long moment. His breath comes in short painful gasps. Once it’s evened out, he turns to the ornate clawfoot tub that takes up most of the room and turns both the silver taps to the perfect angle, steaming hot water rushing out to fill the basin. He then retrieves a pink bath bomb from a small box on the counter and tosses it into the tub gently, taking a seat on the closed toilet and losing himself for an indeterminate period in the swirling patterns.

His reverie is broken as Sirius realizes that the tub is about to overflow. Jumping up, he quickly turns the handles once again. A moment later he has divested himself of his sweat-stained clothing and steps carefully over the side of the tub, gritting his teeth at the nearly-painful sensation of hot water on chilled flesh. It’s been an unusually cold and stormy day, even for England. Sirius sinks into the water with a satisfied sigh and takes a moment to enjoy the feeling of calm before grabbing his phone (left perfectly within reach on the toilet lid) and typing in his latest 10-digit passcode. As usual, his phone was left open to the camera; he considers a selfie, but reverses the settings and instead takes what he deems to be an aesthetically pleasing shot of his legs in the rosy water. With a few quick motions he’s begun a new tumblr post featuring the photo; the caption takes a bit longer as he types furiously.

**I can’t fucking stand my mother anymore. She’s the most elitist, bigoted, ignorant person I’ve ever met. I can’t wait to get out of this house, I feel like I’m suffocating.**

**I can never come out. I mentioned my bisexual friend and she threatened to “take away the internet” so I wouldn’t be exposed to homosexual propaganda or smth. I hate this so much, I almost want to just drown right here.**

He takes a breath as he finishes, and then continues in the tags: #I’m not actually going to drown I’m just frustrated #i don’t know what to do #i can’t stand dealing with my deadname every day it’s killing me #someone tell me what to do i’m about to run away

Once the photo has posted, he sets his phone back down with a sigh, sinking down until only his head is above the surface. He doesn’t leave the water until it’s as cold as the air outside.

* * *

 

_Seattle - Friday, 12:02pm_

 

Remus is just about to pick up his chair and gently but firmly break it over his young pupil’s head when Lily’s voice cuts through the hubbub of the tutoring centre.

“Time for lunch, kids! Grab your bags and line up on Dorcas. Peter, make sure you’ve got everyone before you walk them over to the park, please!”

“Line up _on_ Dorcas?”

“You know what she meant, don’t be a smarta--”

“ _DORCAS!”_ Peter drowns out the end of her comment just in time to save the twenty four virgin ears in the room. He grabs hold of a nearby child’s backpack as she makes a bid for freedom toward the door Lily propped open. “Nooooooo, ya don’t, Nymphadora, get in line.” The tiny student makes a truly horrific face at Peter, but stands in front of Dorcas obediently.

“Your hair looks like a mermaid.”

“Thanks Dora!” Dorcas beams at her young admirer. “I like your hair too.”

“I didn’t say I liked it.”

Lily and Remus double over in barely-contained laughter as Dorcas stares down at Nymphadora in shock.

“The shade…” Remus chokes out.

“Ok, everybody, let’s get going.” Peter waves the line of students through the door, following behind. “I’ve got some aloe vera in my backpack if you need it for that burn, Dorcas,” he adds in an undertone. Dorcas’s face is pink with a unique mixture of amusement and offense as she follows Peter down the street toward the park.

“That kid is fucking _savage,”_ Remus remarks once the children have left.

“I love her.” Lily is shuffling a pile of worksheets together as she speaks. “The rest of the kids drive me nuts with all their questions, at least she’s funny sometimes.”

Remus stands from his place at a comically short table, stretching his legs for the first time in an hour. He crosses the room to the stack of cubbies against the far wall and retrieves a brown paper bag with a crude drawing of a wolf on it. Too lethargic to return to his seat, he plops down on the floor by the cubbies and pulls out his lunch and phone. Lily follows suit, sitting opposite him on the ratty purple carpet.

“What do you have today?”

“Peanut butter sandwich.” Remus hold up his lunch before taking a bite.

“It’s not a sandwich if you just stick two toaster waffles together,” Lily says critically.

“Peanut butter between two convenient bread products, then.” Remus uses his free hand to open the tumblr app on his phone, scrolling past various memes and historical posts until something catches his eye.

It’s a photo of someone in a bathtub of rose-coloured water; but it’s not the aesthetic that captures his attention. It’s the caption.

The boy he followed this morning has made a desperate-sounding post about his parents, and scrolling through the tags, Remus feels a burst of compassion for him. Almost without thinking he clicks through until he’s opened a message to starry-sirius, typing quickly and hoping he doesn’t sound too awkward or overstep any boundaries.

 

**Whatwerewolf**

Hey there! You don’t know me but I saw your post and I just wanted to give you what advice I can...parents can be super shitty about stuff, but I’ve found it helps to breathe really deeply and just imagine the future when you’ll be able to move out and be rid of them. It sounds kinda stupid but it’s really helped keep me calm during some horrible conversations in the past.

 

...also it’ll really piss her off if you just laugh in your mom’s face whenever she says something stupid ;)

 

Anyway I hope that helps

 

Sirius doesn’t reply after a few minutes, so Remus sets his phone down and turns back to Lily, who is engrossed in a copy of _Pride and Prejudice._ She glances up and smiles an infuriating smile at him.

“Stalking that pretty boy again?”

“No!” Remus flushes. “I just--he seemed like he needed advice or something, so I sent him a message.”

“How considerate of you,” Lily drawls.

“It was! I’m being friendly,” Remus insists.

“Sure you are. Now come on and help me get the group game set up before they get back, lover boy.”

* * *

 

_Seattle - Friday, 11:15pm_

 

“Nymphadora can suck my ass,” Dorcas proclaims loudly to the small gathering of teenagers before her.

“You’re just mad you can’t throw that kind of shade,” Peter laughs.

“My hair is a work of art, I’ll have you know!”

“Art is in the eye of the beholder,” Remus comments thoughtfully.

“Well I bet I could take that little _beholder_ , she’s what? Three feet tall?” Dorcas shoots back.

“Please don’t fight the students, Dorcas,” Lily says dryly as she reaches past her bright-haired friend to retrieve the last slice from the pizza box at the centre of the room.

Remus tunes out of the conversation momentarily as he checks his phone for the thousandth time today. This time, however, a small blue notification pops up at the top of his screen when he opens the tumblr app. Trying to contain his excitement and avoid the notice of his often-over enthusiastic friends, he opens his messages and finds one from starry-sirius waiting.

 

**Starry-sirius**

good thinking...I especially liked the last bit ;)

**Whatwerewolf**

Yeah, I’ve used that one quite a bit with my grandma actually

 

Remus smiles down at his phone for a moment before locking it once more and returning to the conversation. Peter, Lily, and Dorcas are discussing the Ghostbusters reboot animatedly while Frank Longbottom--who arrived an hour previously after finishing a shift at Starbucks--attempts to play with Minnie. The cat is having none of it, however, turning to bite his hand with every gentle stroke and causing Frank to become increasingly distressed. Remus turns back to his phone just as another message appears.

 

**Starry-sirius**

I bet she loves that :P

**Whatwerewolf**

Oh for sure. Great way to ingratiate oneself with conservative family members

_What the fuck am I doing??? “Ingratiate?” Who talks like that?_

**Starry-sirius**

Are you one of those forty year old men my mother is always warning me the internet is full of? You have an impressive vocabulary ;)

 

Remus is quickly beginning to suspect that Sirius isn’t fully aware of what a winky face means...or he is, and he’s just terrible at flirting. The former seems most likely, though, considering that he has no idea who Remus is or even what he looks like.

 

**Whatwerewolf**

Not quite...just a young, starving history student, I’m afraid

**Starry-sirius**

History? That’s so cool

**Whatwerewolf**

Yeah I specialize in Hellenic/Hellenistic studies, which is basically the study of Greece before and after Alex came through and fucked shit up

**Starry-sirius**

Alex?

**Whatwerewolf**

*Alexander the Great, sorry

**Starry-sirius**

I see. So ur on 1st name basis with him then?

 

Remus practically facepalms, his face flushing as he realizes just how much of a dork he’s coming off as.

“Rem, you ok?” Frank’s voice distracts Remus from his phone just in time to see Minnie leap into the air and climb his tall friend’s back using only her claws, causing a rather shrill screech to emerge from Frank’s mouth.

“Are _you_ ok?” Remus asks, jumping up and retrieving the intrepid explorer from her perch on Frank’s shoulder.

“Yeah, just...bleeding a little. It’s fine.”

“Don’t be a baby, she can’t have done that much damage.” Dorcas rolls her eyes.

“Do you need a bandaid or something hun?” Lily reaches for her backpack, which is leaning against the wall alongside the others’.

“Nah, I’m alright, this always happens. But Remus you kinda looked like you’d just kicked a puppy on accident, what happened?” All eyes are on Remus now, and he tries unsuccessfully to keep from blushing harder as he explains the conversation he’s been having.

“...I just come off like such a dork, he’s not even flirting or anything and I still can’t hold an intelligent conversation…Peter what are you doing?”

Peter, in the time that Remus has been talking, has grabbed Remus’s phone and proceeded to scroll through the messages.

“I’m finding the truth. You’re too close to the situation to know if you’re really a dork.” He stares at the screen a moment longer and then looks up once again. “Ok...you _are_ a dork, but this guy is using way too many winky faces.”

“I thought so too!” Remus exclaimed. “That can’t be an accident, can it?”

“I’m not sure, he seem like a bit of a wild card.” Peter hands back the phone.

“You haven’t seen him,” Lily chimes in. “You can tell just looking at him he’s a total flirt.”

“Yeah, and it looks like he and James have some sort of… _thing_ going on, so I doubt he’s interested in me,” Remus adds.

“James? I haven’t heard from him in a while! How’s California?” Frank asks. Remus tunes out quickly as the discussion moves to the topic of James Potter. James was his best friend in elementary school, but his father has had to move frequently since then as he climbs the ranks as a scientist at Loréal. Remus and Peter keep in touch with him via social media; Lily vowed never to speak to him again after an incident involving a playground fight gone awry in the fourth grade. He opens his phone once again, considering how to respond to Sirius.

 

**Whatwerewolf**

Sorry, I guess that’s a history student thing…I’ve spent way too long studying him and now it’s like he’s an old friend

 

The reply comes a few moments later:

 

**Starry-sirius**

That’s really cool actually! Nerdy, but cool

**Whatwerewolf**

Thanks?

**Starry-sirius**

You’re welcome ;) So u seem like u have experience with all this, ur family not PFLAG members either?

**Whatwerewolf**

You could say that, mostly with my extended family…Mom & dad have been p cool. They moved to a new school district when kids got nasty at my old one, and they’re supporting my transition, so I can’t really complain in that regard

**Starry-sirius**

Nice! Can I come live with you??

**Whatwerewolf**

Lol sure

**Starry-sirius**

Thanks m8

…wait I promised my friend James I’d run away to his house if I ran away. Gdi, I’ll have to take a raincheck on your invitation

**Whatwerewolf**

“Invitation” :P

And if you’re talking about @unlamejames, make sure you get your own room. His is always a disaster

**Starry-sirius**

You kno prongs???

**Whatwerewolf**

I’ve never heard anyone call him that but he’s one of my best friends!

**Starry-sirius**

Ah that’s awesome! Small world

 

“Earth to Remus!” Remus blinks hard as a hand waves rapidly in front of his face.

“What?”

“It’s midnight, so we’re all gonna take off,” Peter says.

“Shit, is it really that late?” Remus glances at the clock on his wall, which clearly indicates that the time is a quarter past twelve. “Damn, ok, everybody out!” He half-jokingly shoos the group out of his room and down the stairs, waiting until they’ve all made it safely to their various vehicles before locking the door.

Remus is already in bed when he remembers Sirius. Feeling blindly in the darkness for his phone, he turns it on once more, squinting at the screen.

 

**Whatwerewolf**

Sorry I disappeared, I was getting ready for bed…talk to you later?

**Starry-sirius**

Bed?

Oh yeah, Americans

Goodnight then!

**Whatwerewolf**

Goodnight!

* * *

 

_Brighton – Saturday, 9am_

 

**Starry-sirius**

Yo prongs u up

**Unlamejames**

Yup. What’s up?

**Starry-sirius**

Who the fuck is Remus?

@whatwerewolf

**Unlamejames**

We went to school together in Seattle! He’s gr8

Why do you ask?

**Starry-sirius**

We were just talking abt trans stuff and he mentioned that u were his *best friend*

Frankly I’m a little offended

I’m strongly considering leaving you

**Unlamejames**

Aw bby don’t b that way

**Starry-sirius**

2 l8 I’m gone

**Unlamejames**

gdi

**Starry-sirius**

Anyway he seemed cool

Worth following?

**Unlamejames**

If u like historical memes and random youtube vids. He does drunk history-type stuff but he’s not drunk, it’s just him lol

**Starry-sirius**

Ah nice

Well it’s like 1 there right? U should get ur beauty sleep, u need it

**Unlamejames**

…hey now

**Starry-sirius**

:*

**Unlamejames**

Night nerd <3

**Starry-sirius**

Night loser <3

 

Sirius navigates to Remus’s blog quickly and hits _follow,_ then switches to Snapchat and begins scrolling through filters. Upon finding the most aesthetically pleasing one—flower crown, per usual—he runs a hand through his thick hair and leans back on his pillows, taking a few experimental shots before hitting on the perfect angle and saving it. He then switches back to tumblr, uploading the photo and captioning it “good morning ;)” before rolling over and promptly falling back asleep.

He wakes up to a few dozen notes on the post, and then his mother is yelling for him, and he’s screaming back as he pulls on his “least presentable” clothes and heads downstairs to see what she wants. His phone stays tucked away in his back pocket for a few hours, the fact that @whatwerewolf reblogged his latest post buried under hundreds of other notifications.


	3. Reblog

_ Brighton - Thursday, 5:00pm _

Regulus Black glares at his brother from the doorway. 

“Why can’t you just do this for me? I haven’t told Mum and Dad about you, I don’t see why you can’t do this,” he hisses just loudly enough for the sound to his Sirius’s ears like hail on a rooftop, every word dropping hard and stinging behind his eyes.

“What you’re asking me to do is  _ illegal,  _ Regulus, and besides, it’s got nothing to do with... _ me.”  _ There’s an unspoken agreement between the brothers that they can never mention Sirius’s secret aloud in their parents’ house; even when they’re left alone, they have a tendency to whisper.

“I’m just saying, I don’t see why you can’t help me out,” Regulus repeats, his voice rising.

“Why can’t Lucius or Bella do it? They’re old enough, there’s no reason to make you.”

“It’s my turn! They barely let me hang out with them as it is, I can’t just not bring the beer.” 

“Since when do you even drink, Reg?” Sirius asks. His brother bites his lip, his gaze wavering and flicking toward the floor.

“Everybody does, it’s not a big deal. I’ll give you the money--”

“Money isn’t the issue, Reg! The issue is your racist, bigoted,  _ incestuous  _ friends!” Sirius spits the words at his brother, whose face hardens. In this moment their resemblance is at its strongest: the dark eyes storming, the jaws set, the chins raised defiantly. The moments when he fights with his family are, ironically, the ones when Sirius is most Black.

“They’re our  _ family,  _ Delph, and not everyone is as willing to give that all up as you seem to be.”

There’s a moment of silence as the two boys stare at each other, the only sound coming from their laboured breathing; six feet has quickly become as large a distance as six miles.

“Get out.” Sirius’ voice is deadly quiet now.

“I--I’m sorry, I forgot, I didn’t mean to--”

“ _ Now.”  _

Regulus freezes for a moment before stumbling backward out of the doorway, his footsteps fading out as he makes his way to his own room in the East wing.

Sirius stands in the centre of his room for what feels like hours, eyes closed tight. His teeth sink into his lip hard as he fights the flood behind his eyes. He only moves when a vibration in his pocket startles him, his eyes flying open. He opens his phone and stares at the screen for a moment before making a decision.

_ 5:45 pm, My Queen: _

You up for that party at Andromeda’s tonight?

_ 5:47 pm, me: _

Absolutely

He knows if his parents find out he’s been hanging around his prodigal cousin he’ll never hear the end of it, but somehow he can’t bring himself to care.  _ If they want me to connect with my family so badly, why not? _

_ 5:48 pm, My Queen: _

Be there in an hour. Wear something pretty ;)

* * *

 

_ Brighton -- Friday, 1:15 am _

Sirius can hardly breathe, the sickly sweet stench that hangs heavy in the air clogging his lungs and making him cough. A knot of drunken teens at the centre of the darkened room is swaying and bouncing vaguely as they shout along with the music. Setting down his drink (an odd mixture of cherry soda and white wine that’s about 90% soda by this point), Sirius skirts around the group. A mostly-sober girl elbows him in the stomach as he stumbles past her. Her phone is extended a foot in front of her as she trains it on the “dancers” and laughs maniacally; someone is going to wake up to an embarrassing video on facebook tomorrow.

“NOW EVERYONE REPORT TO THE DANCE FLOOR, TO THE DANCE FLOOR, TO THE DANCE FLOOR…” Sirius’s nose wrinkles dramatically as he realizes what song is playing, and his steps quicken as he makes his way around the edge of the room to the door.

“Don’t leave without me!” Sirius barely catches a rather inebriated Marlene McKinnon as she slings an arm around his shoulders and loses her balance in one smooth movement.

“Oh my god, I won’t...Let’s get some air love.” Sirius tries to contain a giggle as Marlene drapes herself over him, muttering something about being surrounded by “pretty fairy girls.” 

“They’re all so  _ pretty _ , Siri, I want a fairy…”

“They’ve just got glitter on their faces Marls--”

“I meant in general, in the  _ grand scheme of things,  _ I need a fairy girl in my life.”

“...Right.”

Sirius ushers his friend out the door, gently lowering her to sit on the top step of the porch and then bending down to join her. Slightly to the right and behind them, a couple is engaged in a passionate interaction on a small bench. Sirius grimaces as an unseemly moan sounds from the corner, and he turns to face Marlene.

“You look like a fairy too,” he comments, smiling fondly at his friend and wiping a few stray sparkles off her cheek.

“Thanks babe,” she replies. “So do you, honestly.” Sirius pulls out his phone and opens it to the camera. 

“Gotta document the aesthetic,” he explains. 

It takes them about ten minutes to get a photo they both agree on, and another five for Marlene to settle on a filter. When they’ve finished, Sirius uploads it to tumblr, but Marlene distracts him before he can post.

“Sirius...do you think if I wish really hard a fairy girl will find me?” Sirius laughs a little at the forlorn look on Marlene’s face.

“I’ll find you one right now,” he says suddenly. He glances back down at his phone and types rapidly for a moment before turning it off and setting it down. “Wait an hour and you’ll have a couple fairies to choose from.” Marlene raises an eyebrow at Sirius, who simply winks coquettishly. “You’ll see.”

* * *

 

_ Brighton -- Friday, 2:25 pm _

Sirius wakes to the feeling of every muscle in his torso joining together to murder him.

He groans, rolling onto his stomach and attempting to clutch at his own back. His hands find the fabric of his binder where his shirt rode up over night and he curses himself silently for falling asleep in it. Glancing around through barely-opened eyes, he locates Marlene lying on the couch above him.

His finger jabbing into her side does little to wake Marlene. Noting the phone balanced on her chest, he finds his own in his pocket and messages her a thumbs-up emoji on Facebook. A second later she flinches hard as the vibration hits her solar plexus. 

“Shit--” she fumbles her phone, opening it and blinking at the screen’s sudden light. Then she glances down at Sirius, brow furrowed in a distinct lack of amusement. “ _ Why _ ?” Sirius snickers, then moans as pain shoots through his ribs.

“We need to get going soon, mum will flip if she knows I’m at Andromeda’s.” He struggles to his feet and shakes his head as static fills his vision. He’s halfway to the front door before he realizes that Marlene is still on the couch, phone clutched in her hand.

“Hey, Sirius...did I spend like an hour talking about how I wanted to date a fairy last night?”

“Yeah, I think so,” Sirius says groggily.

“And did you do something to like... _ summon  _ a fairy, by chance?” Something in Marlene’s voice makes Sirius step back toward her.

“I think I posted something on my blog, actually. Why?” Rather than replying, Marlene hands her phone to Sirius.

“Scroll down.”

Sirius looks down and sees the photo they took on the porch. The caption reads “Hit up @queen-marlene if you’re cute, single, and a fairy princess...I wouldn’t mind a fairy prince either.” A flick of his finger and Sirius discovers an addition to the post, added by @dorcasdinosaurus: a photo of a girl with wavy, brightly coloured hair and an impish grin. Below the photo are the words “I’m cute, single, and a bit of a gay-ry, message me ;)”

“Oh my god...I summoned a fairy.” Sirius and Marlene stare at each other for a moment. 

“I mean...she really does look like...I’m too hungover for this, man.” Marlene retrieves her phone and, after a moment of hesitation, reblogs the photo from @dorcasdinosaurus, making a quick comment in the tags that her inbox is alway open. “Can’t hurt to see if she’s serious, can it?”

“I think I’m Sirius.”

A decorative pillow very narrowly misses Sirius’s head as he cackles, running out the door to Marlene’s car as she follows behind rather more slowly.

* * *

 

_ Seattle -- Friday, 9:45 pm _

“Dorcas!” Lily’s voice jolts Remus out of his reverie. He looks up from his phone to see his friend glaring at Dorcas, who is also holding her phone in front of her, a startled expression on her face.

“What?”

“I’ve been talking to you for the past ten minutes and you haven’t been listening to me at all.” Dorcas looks vaguely guilty, and Remus can’t help but chime in.

“Come on, Lils, we all know what you’re saying anyway. ‘James Potter is the most arrogant, bullying meme…’” Lily opens her mouth, but Remus cuts her off. “The thing is, we haven’t seen him in over a year. So why are you still so hung up on him?”

“I’m not--I just--he’s--” Lily splutters for a moment and Dorcas snorts.

“Come on, you’ve had a crush on him since freshman year when you dumped Sev’s sorry ass and James clocked him.” 

“That’s another thing though! I can take care of myself! I don’t need some stupid boy to go around...defending my honour or something.”

“Your honour?” The trio turns to look at Peter, who’s been playing with Minnie in the corner. “James didn’t give a shit about you, Lily--no offense--he heard what Sev said to you about Remus and went after him. He didn’t even know you weren’t friends anymore.”

“Oh.” The sight of a shocked and humbled Lily is a bit off putting, and the assembled teens sit in silence for a moment as everyone processes this information. Ever the enemy of awkward silences (or any silence, really), Dorcas piped up after a moment.

“Who wants to see a cute girl on the internet?” The tension flows out of the room as quickly as it arrived, a collective groan sounding from Dorcas’s compatriots.

“Last time you asked me that question I ended up having to help you get like five viruses off your computer,” Peter complains.

“And I will pay you back! Someday! But it’s not that kind of girl, this is a really pretty girl I saw on tumblr who’s been flirting with me for a couple hours, look.” She passes her phone to her right, and Remus finds himself face-to-face with the dark haired god from a few weeks ago. Next to him is a girl, both their faces decorated with a truly alarming amount of glitter. 

“That’s that boy you’re in love with!” Lily practically shouts in Remus’ ear. He flinches, just now noticing that she’s come to sit by his side and look over his shoulder at Dorcas’s new paramour. 

“I’m not...in  _ love _ ...he’s just very pretty...” he protests weakly as Lily grabs the phone from him. 

“You should reblog this too!”

“I’m a history blog, Lily, I’m pretty sure I’ll start losing followers if all I ever post is some random guy’s selfies.” Peter takes the phone from Lily then, looking appraisingly at the photo.

“Actually, you might get more followers. He’s hot.”

“Come on, I reblogged it and now I’ve got a captive audience for my dinosaur pickup lines!” Dorcas retrieves her phone and returns to the tumblr messenger window. “She went to sleep so I’m gonna spam her with them. How’s this: ‘Are you the recently discovered Ceratops, because I think you're my missing link.’” She’s met with a perfectly coordinated eye roll from her friends, and glares at them before turning back to her phone. “ _ Marlene _ gets me.”

“See, Rem? True love via the tumblr app.”

“Fine, but this is the last time I reblog him,” Remus grumbles. He quickly finds the post on Dorcas’s blog and hits the reblog button. Turning away from Lily to think, he types for a few minutes before the tags seem right, then hits post.

“I must be a Saurischia Sauropoda, because you've got me on all fours,” Dorcas comments to no one. 

“Oh my god…” Peter mutters under his breath.

“Hey, that one was really good!”

“If you’re an eighty year old archaeologist or something!”

“Oh my god you really like this guy.” Lily’s statement distracts Peter and Dorcas from their argument for a moment.

“What?” Remus asks.

“Look at these tags! I think you have actual feelings for him.”

“Fuck off.”

“No seriously Rem...you guys have talked a bit, right?”

“Yeah, but just about trans stuff, families, ya know.”

“That’s actually a pretty deep conversation topic,” Peter observes. “Can I see your phone?”

“Sure?” Remus hands it to him. Seconds later, Lily’s phone lights up with a notification and she slaps Peter gently on the arm.

“Oh my god, he’s gonna kill you.”

“What did you do? Pete? Give me my phone back.” Remus snatches it and looks down to see his own face staring back. “Oh no, you didn’t…”

“If you’re going to flirt with him you have to give him a way to flirt with you,” Peter reasons.

“I never post selfies, though, I’m completely unphotogenic…I’m going to delete these before he sees them oh my god.” Remus’ heart is beating too fast. He pauses for a moment to read the caption, though:  _ Hephaestion seeking Alexander.  _ “You made me look like a total dweeb, too…who the fuck even knows about Hephaestion and Alexander?”

“Why do you take selfies if you don’t want to post them? And you are a dweeb, but a hot dweeb,” Peter replies. At that moment, Remus sees that James has reblogged the photos.  _ Goddammit.  _

“Well it’s too late now, James reblogged them, which means Sirius will definitely see them since  _ he and James are practically married.”  _ Remus sighs deeply. 

“Hey it’s getting kind of late, we should probably get going if I’m driving everyone home,” Lily says tactfully. “Thanks for feeding us again, Remus.” She picks up her bag and the empty pizza box on the floor as she stands, waiting for Dorcas and Peter to follow her lead. “See you on Monday!”

“See ya.”

“Bye, Rem.”

“Bye guys.”

As Dorcas, Peter, and Lily troop down the stairs, Peter stops for a moment.

“Wait, how did James reblog those so fast?”

“I...may have sent him a quick message asking him to. As a favour,” Lily admits.

“You haven’t spoken to him in a year and when you finally do it’s to get him to reblog Remus’ selfies?”

“I figured we have our love for Remus in common,” she replies. “And if Sirius sees those selfies and falls madly in love with Remus, well, then, we will have made a boy we love very happy.”

“Probably wouldn’t hurt that that would get Sirius out of the picture for James, huh?” Peter grins evilly.

“If I can save some poor soul from dating James Potter then that’s just an added bonus,” she quips.

“Hey guys! Did you know that it's rare to find an entire dinosaur skull fossil and as a result they cost millions?” Dorcas says suddenly. “It's sad, because if I could I'd give you some head.”

“Alright, so Dorcas is walking home…”

All drama is forgotten as the three head out the door and pile into Lily’s tiny car, debating the quality of Dorcas’s various dinosaur-themed pickup lines.

* * *

 

_ Seattle -- Saturday, 1:56 am _

Remus has been alternatingly refreshing his blog and trying to focus on anything else since his friends left. As the hour approaches two A.M., he finally decides to give up and go to sleep.  _ He probably saw them on James’s blog and scrolled right by... _ at that very moment, though, a notification pops up in the lower right corner of his screen.

_ Starr-sirius reblogged your photoset. _

Heart pounding, Remus fumblingly slides his cursor to the notification and clicks on it. There, on Sirius’s blog, is Remus’s face. And below the photos is a string of tags, which Remus scans with the lightning speed.

#what the fu ck #you could slice your enemies open with those cheekbones t b h #ur so cute??? 

Remus can feel his face flushing at the light grey words before him, taking a moment to bask in the praise. His hand unconsciously rises to touch his face.  _ Are my cheekbones really that great?  _ Taking a deep breath, he screenshots the post and saves it in his “rainy day” folder, then closes his computer.

His dreams that night are full of dark hair and soft lips, though he’d never admit it in the morning.


	4. Anonymous

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warnings in notes @ the end

_ Seattle - Sunday, 3:00pm _

**_Anonymous asked:_ ** _ Hey! Just thought I’d drop by and say you’re very good looking and very much my type...have a nice day ;) _

Remus stares at his screen for a moment, eyes flicking back and forth across the text in front of him several times. His face is slightly pink and he can feel the tips of his ears becoming warm. He clicks the small pencil at the corner of the message and then pauses, unsure of how to proceed.  _ Is this for real?  _ He wonders.  _ Did someone just see my selfies and decide I was their “type,” whatever that means?  _ He retrieves his phone from his back pocket and opens snapchat, capturing the situation and captioning it “Help???” before sending it to James, Lily, and Peter. Immediately, a notification from James pops up.

Over his smirking face a line of text reads “Get it ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°).” Remus rolls his eyes at his camera, replying with a sarcastic “helpful” before closing the app and returning to his laptop. Finally, he begins to type into the small blank box below the message. 

_ I’ve never heard of someone whose *type* was broke history nerds who sound like 13 year old boys, but thanks :P _

The message seems suitably self-deprecating, and the emoji will hopefully serve to show he isn’t trying to be rude...satisfied with his work, Remus posts the response and returns to his dash. He has three private messages awaiting his attention: two are memes from James, which he glances at and then ignores; the other is from Sirius.

Remus selects the message from @starry-sirius, practically devouring his words.

**Starry-sirius**

So I looked up your mate Alex the other day. He was fucking badass! Someone should totally make a movie about him or smth, I’d watch the hell out of it. Also thanks for your tags on my selfie with Marlene, I was drunk off my arse but I was actually pretty happy there.

**Whatwerewolf**

Glad that I contributed to your history education :P There are many, many movies about my “mate” Alex actually, if you want I can rec some!

And i’m happy you were happy, sometimes just getting out with some people you’re not related to is all you need

_ “I’m happy you were happy?” What kind of awkward idiot… _ Remus’ critique of his own writing skills is interrupted by another message from his handsome acquaintance. 

**Starry-sirius**

That would be sik bants m8. & yeah, i was technically at my cousin’s house but she’s been disowned for a while so. Getting away from my family is the best tbh

**Whatwerewolf**

Fuck, that sucks. Is she ok?

Sorry not trying to pry or anything

**Starry-sirius**

Andromeda? Yeah she’s fine, she married someone my family decided was “undesirable” so they kicked her out, i think she’s happier like this tho honestly. I can’t wait til they kick me out…

Remus frowns in concern at that last comment. Sirius has a way of going from lighthearted to negative the moment he thinks about his family, he’s noticed. And for some odd reason Remus finds himself feeling more concerned than he probably should, despite the fact that they’re barely friends.

**Whatwerewolf**

Well there’s always a place for you in Seattle, should you need it...although I’ll be back in the dorms soon so you’ll have to sleep in my closet probably

He’d started off with “so you’ll have to share the bed,” but slammed down on the backspace button as quickly as he had typed the words.  _ Sloooooow down, buddy. That is not what’s happening in this conversation right now. _

**Starry-sirius**

I can’t share the bed? Disappointing 

Remus blinks for a moment.  _ Did he really just... _ he reads the message again.  _ I’ll be damned. He did.  _

**Whatwerewolf**

I was literally about to say that omg

**Starry-sirius**

Why didn’t u?

Remus pauses, considering.  _ Why didn’t I?  _ Because Sirius is too attractive and the image of him in his bed would literally kill him. Because innuendos are for people you’ve known for years and have no actual latent attraction to. Because-- _ wait. That last one works. _

**Whatwerewolf**

I wasn’t sure we were at the level of friendship yet lol

There’s a pause, and Remus wonders if he said something wrong. When the next message appears, he breathes a sigh of relief.

**Starry-sirius**

I think everyone is on that level with me tbh ;)

The sigh is followed by a strange pang, though. Disappointment? Remus hardly wants to admit that he hoped Sirius was hitting on him, but it certainly would’ve been flattering. 

At that moment, a small blue notification springs into being at the top of Remus’ screen. His eyes flick up and he decides to take a moment before responding to Sirius. Clicking on the icon reveals a new message in Remus’ inbox.

**_Anonymous asked:_ ** _ When history nerds are as cute as you are, how could they not be my type? Also where can I hear this voice of yours? _

Remus can feel his ears getting even warmer, and he’s nearly positive his face is permanently bubblegum pink. This time the response comes a bit quicker, though; the urge to flirt with Sirius has spilled over and the Anon is providing him with the perfect outlet. 

_ You flatter me, Anon! And my youtube channel is whatwerewolf, there’s not much on there at the moment but I’ve got a video of me and my friends that will be up in a day or two and you can hear my voice there. _

He posts the response and then returns to Sirius.  _ How do I keep him talking?  _ He pauses for a moment, examining his own motives before amending that thought.  _ I mean...how do I continue to get to know this interesting and only somewhat attractive British guy I met on the internet? _

Not a sentence his parents would be proud of, but slightly less incriminating nonetheless. 

**Whatwerewolf**

Good to know XD So tell me, how do you know James?

**Starry-sirius**

We went to school together last year. He sassed a teacher and got thrown out of class

So naturally I had to be friends with him

**Whatwerewolf**

Naturally :P

That does sound like James, though. Does that mean you were at that fancy boarding school then?

**Starry-sirius**

Yep! 

**Whatwerewolf**

Uniform and everything?

**Starry-sirius**

Yeah...why? that turn you on baby? :P

Remus chokes on air at that last sentence.  _ He’s joking right? He must be joking. Stay calm. Be cool. _

**Whatwerewolf**

What no omg

I just meant like

I can’t imagine a punk guy like you in the blazer and everything

_ Smooth, Lupin. Really natural backtracking there. _

**Starry-sirius**

Ah yeah, I might’ve been kicked out over that actually…

**Whatwerewolf**

Why am I not surprised?

**Starry-sirius**

Oy, hey now. I’m not that much of a Bad Boy am i?

_ Yeah you are, it’s way hotter than it should be… _

**Whatwerewolf**

Nah, you seem like a bit of a nerd honestly. Did you seriously get kicked out of school for not wearing your uniform?

**Starry-sirius**

Who’s majoring in History, nerd?   
Yeah, well not so much for not wearing it as writing shit on the back of my blazer. Ya know, standard punk stuff… “Fuck school,” “Destroy the cisheteropatriarchy,” “James Potter owns my ass…”

Remus snorts.

**Whatwerewolf**

What’s the story behind that last one, exactly?

**Starry-sirius**

I lost a bet

**Whatwerewolf**

Ah. I feel like I’ve probably lost the same bet at some point

I do like those other sayings tho. They’d look badass on a jacket

**Starry-sirius**

Yeah, I did look badass tbh...until mum burned it

**Whatwerewolf**

Damn

**Starry-sirius**

Yeah, and I looked hot in those pants too, she’s practically a pyro tho

Sorry I didn’t mean to make this *Sirius’s pity party* lmao

**Whatwerewolf**

Hey it’s chill, we all need to vent sometimes

**Starry-sirius**

Thanks

**Whatwerewolf**

Any time bro

**Starry-sirius**

Shit it’s like 1am, I should sleep

Thanks for talking tho, i appreciate it

**Whatwerewolf**

Fuck man go rest omg

And you’re welcome, I pretty much never sleep so if you wanna talk again just lmk I’m always around

_ I literally cannot make it clear enough how available I am to you...God Remus could you be any more transparent? _

**Starry-sirius**

I’ll def do that! Goodnight

**Whatwerewolf**

Goodnight!

Remus spends a few minutes scrolling down his dash then, waiting for another message from his secret admirer. He soon discovers that James has filled his dash with posts about “Dat Boi,” however, and gives up in favour of his summer reading assignment. An hour or so later, he finds himself drifting off, his book still open on his lap. He doesn’t wake again until the sun has gone down and Minnie jumps on his face as a gentle reminder that she must be fed.

* * *

 

_ Seattle - Wednesday, 1:10 am _

**Whatwerewolf**

Exactly!! God it’s so nice to hear someone else say that, I hadn’t been able to articulate it before

**Starry-sirius**

It’s good to talk about this stuff with someone tbh

**Whatwerewolf**

It really is. No one wants to talk about how toxic masculinity and female beauty standards affect trans guys for some reason, I’m glad I’m not just being crazy

**Starry-sirius**

No m8 i get it, i definitely feel like i *have* to shave and then regret it 2 seconds later

Remus and Sirius have been talking like this for over an hour--Remus has discovered, to his delight, that his new friend is an early riser, and combined with his own night owl tendencies it’s made for several conversations about everything from transgender issues to the relative merits of Monty Python movies. It’s comforting to have someone who understands him so completely readily available to talk to. Lily and James can try, but sometimes another trans guy is the only one who can really  _ get  _ what Remus is feeling. Smiling and settling deeper into the pile of blankets on his bed, Remus sighs contentedly before replying.

**Whatwerewolf**

Honestly tho you look really masculine regardless, at least in my opinion...you look a lot like Ezra Miller

**Starry-sirius**

Shit, really? Thanks omg

He’s actually so hot that’s so nice of you

**Whatwerewolf**

Just telling the truth lol

Remus hopes that comparing Sirius to arguably the best-looking actor of their generation isn’t giving too much away. Their interactions since they started talking have been decidedly platonic, and the last thing he needs to do is jeopardize what is quickly becoming a very important friendship. 

**Starry-sirius**

:* hey i gtg, my mum’s shouting abt something and i have a feeling this’ll take a bit

**Whatwerewolf**

Oh ok! Good luck with that :/

**Starry-sirius**

Thanks m8 :) Soz about this

If you’re asleep when I get back, goodnight!

**Whatwerewolf**

It’s fine! Goodnight

* * *

 

_ Brighton - Wednesday, 9:30 am _

“Delphinia! Get down here right now, young lady.” Walburga’s voice echoes through the house, and Sirius is nearly certain that the entire neighbourhood can hear her.

“Coming, fuck, can you relax for two seconds?”

The second his feet hit the final step, he feels a sharp pain in his ear. His mother has a vice-like grip on it as she drags him to the downstairs bathroom, blocking the doorway when he turns to leave.

“We are  _ pure,  _ Delphinia, and we do not dirty ourselves with such language.” There’s a look in her eyes that Sirius hasn’t seen in months, and he freezes as she stares down at him. “Your mouth is dirty with it.”

“Oh my god, no, please don’t make me--”

“Open your mouth.”

“Mum please--” he’s cut off as she shoves the end of the soap dispenser into his mouth, squirting a stream of foaming liquid inside. Coughing, he breaks free and spits it at her.

“Fuck you!” 

“This will continue until you are clean, girl. Sit.” Walburga points at the toilet, and Sirius sits slowly. His jaw is clamped shut as his mother brandishes the soap dispenser. “You are a Black, Delphinia. And Blacks do not waste themselves on common language.” Something in her face changes, and she sets the soap down. Sirius relaxes slightly until her hand moves to his face, caressing his cheek. “You have pure blood in your veins, darling. Remember that.” She seems to have forgotten her original mission here, and Sirius is too shaken to ask why she summoned him. After a moment she leaves the bathroom and he heaves a stuttering sigh of relief. Moving as quietly as possible, he makes his way back up the stairs and locks himself in his own bathroom. It only takes a moment to turn on the water, and soon he is engulfed, washcloth in hand as he tries to scrub the feeling of her hand from his face.

* * *

 

_ Brighton - Wednesday, 10:45 am _

**Starry-sirius**

Hey are you awake

**Whatwerewolf**

Always

What’s up?

**Starry-sirius**

Can you die from ingesting soap?

Asking for a friend

**Whatwerewolf**

I don’t think like...normal hand soap would kill you unless you drank a ton of it

Why?

**Starry-sirius**

My mum just decided to give my tongue a bath

**Whatwerewolf**

Shit, really?? Sirius that’s really fucked up

**Starry-sirius**

Yeah

**Whatwerewolf**

I’m so sorry, are you alright?

**Starry-sirius**

Not really

I’ll get over it tho don’t worry abt me

**Whatwerewolf**

Of course I’m worried, you’re my friend

**Starry-sirius**

Oh

Well I’ll be fine, I’ve had worse

That sounds bad but honestly I’ll be ok

As soon as I’m done w/ college i’m getting the hell out of here anyway, I want to go to Uni in the US and mum can’t wait to be rid of me

**Whatwerewolf**

Hey you should come here, my school is really good 

...Just realized I have no idea what you want to major in but UW is good for most things lol

**Starry-sirius**

You’re not super far away from where James lives now right? I may actually look into that

And I want to study queer lit, i think...altho that video of u ranting abt alexander the great makes me wonder abt history too. Or mythology, is that a major?

**Whatwerewolf**

Probably lol. Queer lit sounds really cool though!

**Starry-sirius**

Yeah, i think reading gay fanfic for a living would b p rad

**Whatwerewolf**

Not sure...that’s what that is

But I’d love to go to school with you so I’m not gonna argue

**Starry-sirius**

I’m not sure you want me at school with you, i’m a shite student. Always going around in my underwear, snoring, etc. And that’s just in class, i’m an even worse roommate. Just ask James

Sirius pauses for a moment, awaiting Remus’ response.  _ Please be imagining me in my underwear... _

**Whatwerewolf**

Lol

_ Lol? That’s it? Remus Lupin you are the only person I’ve ever met who could resist my charms,  _ Sirius thinks in irritation.  _ This is usually so easy.  _ At that moment, Sirius remembers that he has football practice in an hour. Jumping out of the tub and wrapping a towel loosely around himself, he shoots off one last message to his friend.

**Starry-sirius**

Shit i gtg to practice, ttyl~

He hastily dries himself off and throws on his uniform--conveniently balled up in the corner of the bathroom--before rushing down the stairs and out the door, failed flirtations temporarily forgotten.

* * *

 

_ Seattle - 2:15 am _

Remus stares at the little window on his screen for a while longer, though he doesn’t expect another message. Finally he goes back to scrolling down his dash, feeling a bit colder despite the blankets surrounding him. Nothing quite seems to catch his eye; memes from James, a post from Peter about how his new rat “wasn’t quite what he expected” (this is vaguely intriguing, and Remus files it away for later), and a few posts on forgiveness from Lily, with whom this seems to be a theme lately. Her attitude on her old nemesis is quickly changing, and Remus wonders how long it will be before she’s asking him if James would ever consider forgiving  _ her  _ for cutting him off. This line of thinking distracts him until he sees a new post from Sirius. Pausing his relentless scrolling pace, he admires the accompanying photos--wild hair and intense eye contact still just as breathtaking as ever--before reading the caption:

**Local star prince is utterly smitten**

#someone stop me #someone come talk to me about this boy #sirius b: fanfic trope #falling for your friends is not a good move #you gotta admit *totally gone* is a good look on me tho # someone reblog these my hair is gr8 m8s

Remus feels a funny twist in his stomach when he sees that the only note on the photoset so far is from James, who reblogged to add his own commentary:

**This is fuckin gay**

#always knew you couldn’t resist my charms ;) #i mean i am siriusly attractive tho #gettit #siriusly… #i can feel you hating me from across the pond but it’s a solid pun ok #actually tho we gotta talk bae it’s been like 12 hours

Any tiny shred of hope that Remus had held out died in that moment; there was no competing with James, especially if he and Sirius were already best friends.  _ And it’s not like I would try, I love James too much anyway. Fuck.  _ Remus squeezes his eyes shut for a moment as disappointment washes over him.  _ Get over it, Remus, it’s not like you had a chance anyway.  _ Biting his lip briefly, he scrolls past the post resolutely. He has no idea why this one unattainable boy suddenly means so much to him.  _ Just...keep being his friend. He’s a good person to have in your life, regardless,  _ he tells himself. 

_ I’ll be fine. _

_ This is fine. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger Warnings:  
> Physical abuse/violence  
> Child abuse  
> Mild verbal abuse


	5. Anon Hate

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Triggers listed at the end of the chapter

_ Seattle - Sunday, 12:00 pm _

Lily laughs out loud as she reads the message on her screen. 

**Unlamejames**

So, did Remus and Sirius have a dramatic love confession post-selfie reblog? (ur welcome, btw)

**Doe-eyed-lily**

...Have you met Remus? (yeah, thanks…)

**Unlamejames**

I was hoping Sirius’s flair for the dramatic would overpower the whole “hot guys never like me” thing lol (anytime)

**Doe-eyed-lily**

Nah, Remus is convinced he’s just a huge flirt

**Unlamejames**

I mean, he is…

**Doe-eyed-lily**

He’d better not be playing Remus, Potter. I’ll hold you personally responsible if this goes wrong...and I’ve got family in California and they’d be more than happy to have me to stay so I can come down there and find you

**Unlamejames**

That a promise? ;)

**Doe-eyed-lily**

Fuckboy

**Unlamejames**

I was joking omg

Lily?

Come back!

She rolls her eyes, deciding to let her old classmate stew for a bit as she notices a notification at the top of her screen. She clicks on it, and immediately feels every muscle in her body tense up.

**_Anonymous asked:_ ** _ Why don’t you stop making the rest of us look bad and just admit ur a str8 girl? All u little 16yr brats always trying to get attention make me so fckn mad.  _

Lily sucks in breath as she reads the message in her inbox. Suddenly she can hear the blood rushing in her ears, her nails digging into the palms of her hands as she tries to steady herself. Her fingers hover over the keyboard, but no words come. 

It takes a full five minutes of staring blankly at the screen before she snaps, pounding her keyboard angrily.

_ What the hell are you doing? I’m 16 years old, minding my own business, and you feel the need to send me hate? What is even the point of this?? I feel sorry for you if you have nothing better to do with your life than harass minors on the internet. _

_ And for the record, I’m BISEXUAL. Not straight. I spent a long time figuring out my identity, and I’m absolutely certain of it. But nothing about my identity has anything to do with anyone else, and it’s certainly not for “attention.” _

_ Fuck off _

The response posts and Lily leans against the back of her chair, eyes tightly shut as she takes a deep breath.

A moment later, she opens her eyes and sees a single note on the post. Frowning, she clicks on it, and discovers that James has reblogged it with a sizeable response.

_ Ok, first of all, props to Lily for not tracking you down and kicking your ass; I know for a fact she has the computer skills to do it. _

_ Secondly, I’m gonna lay some cold, hard, facts on you now. _

_ Bisexual women are far more likely to be abused by their partners, as a direct result of biphobia. _

_ They’re more likely to live in poverty, also because of biphobia. _

_ Bisexual women are also some of the most badass people on the planet, because they take so much shit from cowards like you who contribute so much to the attitudes that put them in danger. _

_ So to quote an incredibly strong friend of mine: _

_ “Fuck off.” _

Lily can feel a smile spreading across her face as she reads the final lines of James’ rant. She reblogs the post from him, tagging it  #thanks bro #how tf did you know all that btw that was impressive

A small  _ swoosh  _ sounds in her headphones and Lily sees another message from James appear, attached to a link to the ask.

**Unlamejames**

You know I’m bi too right?

Lily blinks in surprise.

**Doe-eyed-lily**

You are?

**Unlamejames**

Yep. 

**Doe-eyed-lily**

...cool!   
  


**Unlamejames**

Yeah, I am :P

**Doe-eyed-lily**

Why are you like this?? I was just starting to like you again…

**Unlamejames**

To be fair, your reason for not liking me was a little unfair

**Doe-eyed-lily**

You were an obnoxious prick, and you punched someone you thought I was friends with!

**Unlamejames**

I was a /child/, and he called Remus the T-slur

**Doe-eyed-lily**

Yeah, I didn’t know that part. I probably would’ve clocked him too

**Unlamejames**

You know, this is nice

**Doe-eyed-lily**

What?

**Unlamejames**

Talking. To you. Reminds me of when we were younger, before I turned into a little prick

**Doe-eyed-lily**

...So you admit you were a prick?

**Unlamejames**

No Comment

**Doe-eyed-lily**

Oh, come on :P

James?

Hello???

Oh my god you ass

* * *

 

_ San Francisco - Sunday, 2:00 pm _

James’ focus shifts from Lily to Sirius as a notification appears over his icon.

**Starry-sirius**

Hey

**Unlamejames**

I’m kinda talking to the most gorgeous woman on the planet rn, can this wait?

**Starry-sirius**

I’m thinking of moving to America

**Unlamejames**

Wait what?

All thoughts of Lily are forgotten as James tries to process what Sirius just said.  _ He can’t actually be running away, can he? Have things gotten that bad? _

**Starry-sirius**

I’ve been looking at the University of Washington, it looks really cool...we don’t have a lot of big schools with so many classes here, and it would be almost far enough away from my family to be comfortable

**Unlamejames**

Would it also be close enough to a certain blond history major?

**Starry-sirius**

You mean Remus? He’s the one who gave me the idea, actually.

**Unlamejames**

Yeah, I mean Remus. I’ve seen you talking to him on here, it’s cute

**Starry-sirius**

How so?

**Unlamejames**

Bro I’ve known you for years, don’t even try to pretend you’re not completely into him

**Starry-sirius**

Wtf are you on about? 

**Unlamejames**

You like Remus!

**Starry-sirius**

He’s pretty, but we just talk about trans things&history&stuff

**Unlamejames**

Don’t give me that

**Starry-sirius**

He’s completely immune to my charms, Prongs, i can’t understand it

**Unlamejames**

There it is...Maybe you’re just not going about it right. Remus is a little...oblivious. And he doesn’t get a ton of hot guys hitting on him :P

**Starry-sirius**

I don’t believe that

**Unlamejames**

I’m telling you, he probably just doesn’t know how to respond. I know Remus like I know you, Pads, you’re going to have to keep at it for a while

**Starry-sirius**

But I want him right now, James!!!!!

**Unlamejames**

It’s probably just as well, this way if you get bored you won’t hurt him. No offense but Remus is my best friend and if you hurt him I will kill you

**Starry-sirius**

Bored??? Since when do I get bored of people?

**Unlamejames**

You don’t, just of things sometimes. I just want you take him seriously...no pun intended

**Starry-sirius**

And I thought I was your best friend?

**Unlamejames**

You are! Remus will get the same talk, if he ever notices that you’re flirting with him

**Starry-sirius**

Thanks for the confidence m8

**Unlamejames**

Anytime brove (bro love)

**Starry-sirius**

You fucking meme...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger Warning:  
> Biphobia, mentions of abuse/issues stemming from it


End file.
